Dream Notes

My mind has always heard little nudges, images, thoughts, premonitions, whatever you want to call them.  They come out of nowhere usually in dreams, mostly though, they have a kind of narrative.  Sometimes they come back over and over, and if I am lucky (or not) I get to find out what they were. Many years ago I had a recurring dream about a moment that later occurred.  I will tell it somewhere below, it was passed over by a friend who had died years earlier, I know that sounds crazy, but I can offer no other explanation. That dream allowed me to recognize a moment that could have affected many lives, or maybe it was just coincidence.  I could find no other explanation then, or now, so many years later, that my friend sent me there to stop something.  Please feel free to tell me I am crazy!  Sometimes I tell myself, but I never listen.

But when I met you something that had never happened started out of the blue.  I will call these dream notes, because they were almost like little whispers that suggested crazy stuff.  And I could do nothing but do what they said, usually at terrible times, like the middle of the night or while I was doing something important, trust me I would argue the time, but...

#DN: ask him for coffee
ME: its 3 in the morning, leave me alone
DN: send him a message
ME: no, you are crazy (goes back to sleep)
DN: ask him
ME: fine, shut up (sends him a text - are you working on the weekend? coffee?) - idiot its not even daylight

#DN: (a photograph of a sculpture - wooden feet, walking)
ME: ok! I'll ask dad to make it

#DN: (waking dream) If only! - we stood in the classroom, your back against the wall, I stood before you and asked you if you were really strong.  You looked at me funny and said yes.  I mean really strong.  Yes.  Give me your hands, you have to be really strong, do you trust me?. Yes.  I grabbed hold and lifted my feet off the ground.  You held tight, you were strong, far more than I thought you could be, you held me up.  I lifted myself higher and kissed you.  You looked at me, with that blank look you get when you are filled with thoughts, but don't want to show it.  I said, you are stronger than I imagined, and smiled, I put my feet back on the ground. You walked out the door, said not a single word.

#DN: tell him you love him
ME: he knows
DN: tell him straight out
ME: everyone knows
DN: grab a dictionary and tell him in Greek
ME: seriously (goes away and does it)

#other people: delete him from your life, he has gone overseas and you never have to see him again anyway
ME: I might see him in the hallways
other people: he is not good for you
DN: show him the ending to your story, show him what you are all about, let him know that you know he is going away for three weeks, tell him you want to see him when he comes back
ME: (did all of the above except the last part - chicken)
DN: tell him you know about his dreams too

#him: Ohhhhh! I want some of that cake! (grabs my wedding finger and bends the hell out of it)
ME: it's for Liam's birthday, you can have some after the candles
him: come back (Still grabbing hold)
ME: you are hurting me
him: (does not let go, just stares with those big blue eyes)
DN: tell him you love him!
ME (to DN): are you crazy I've known him 2 weeks
DN: tell him you love him!!!!

#DN: make him a box (photograph of gnocchi)
ME:  lunch?
DN: a box with home made gnocchi and a tart
ME: ok, I can do that, then what?
ME: I know, a card with a rainbow and trees
DN: you are getting it!
ME: I can do that
DN: leave it for him, make sure you are not there
ME: will miss his reaction.  i miss him, haven't seen him since he came back
DN: you'll live
ME: he loves my food
DN: :)

 #DN: he is here
ME: i can feel him (smile)
DN: tell him you love him.  kiss him.  hold his hand
ME: (chicken)
students:  'The Lion is Here!!!!'
ME: shut up, he is going to know
students: everyone knows - tell him you love him -

#DN: tell him you want to do the WA ride with him
ME: totally!!!

(edited Sep 9 2015)